How To Help An Alcoholic

How Do I Help An Alcoholic That Doesn't Think He Has...

New postby Salley » 24 Oct 2012, 07:48

How do I help an Alcoholic that doesn't think he has a problem and his family that doesnt want to addess it.

The guy has a bad problem with booze, however the family is too blind to see that he has a problem. He doesnt think he has a problem, and will not go to AA. His wife considers herself a smart person but instead keeps buying beer for him so he will not be mad. What to do?
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New postby Laurene » 24 Oct 2012, 07:48

As a 3 year member of Alcoholics Anonymous I'm gonna try to answer this. Unfortunately as someone else responded to your question I agree that most likely and sadly you can't do much to help him if he doesn't want help. As we say in AA, AA is not for those who need it but for those who want it. As for his family you might try honestly, humbly, and lovingly letting his family know how concerned you are and that you don't know what to do. I don't know if you have any spiritual beliefs but you might try praying for the man, I will. James S. -Alcoholic Anonymous
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How do you help an alcoholic that doesn't want to...

New postby Joslyn » 24 Oct 2012, 07:48

How do you help an alcoholic that doesn't want to help themself?

I have a sister that is a alcoholic and has gave her family up her kids her job her house. everything just to be drunk everyday.I can't keep allowing this right? She's older than me but it is killing her and I want to help her but she don't want help what can I do? Please seriousanswers only
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New postby Barabara » 24 Oct 2012, 07:48

Well I really didn't want any help either, until I hit rock bottom. The problem is, will she live that long. In this case the only thing I have ever heard of working is called intervention. 1st stop all rescue missions, this means no more making excuses for them, loans, rides. They have to see the results of their drinking. If the family keeps bailing her out, then why stop! If you are serious about helping, then mean it. Volunteer to go to her first AA meeting with her. Support her only in getting well. A crisis intervention is when your family and or friends kinda throw a little surprise party. When she is sober, all of you that still care have to confront her with your fears and love. ALANON can help you with that, just look it up and call them. You are dealing with a serious disease, that reminds me a-lot of cancer. It even has it's remissions. I can go on all day about what I think you should do, but each individual is different, so you need help. What worked for me , may not work for her. I will "try" to answer any questions I can if you want to e-mail me
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How to help an alcoholic friend, and keep his friendship?

New postby Dorie » 24 Oct 2012, 07:48

I have a great friend, he is very caring and very loyal - but the problem is that he shares these wonderful qualities with bottles of booze. He can easily go through whole bottles by himself, and has. He is about to turn 21, and he knows he has a problem, but won't do anything about it?

I'm scared that he's going to drink himself into an early grave, once he turns 21, because then nothing will stand between him and his liquor. It's one thing, to get drunk now and then to have a good time, but when you go through whole bottles, and are spending large chunks of your paychecks to replace bottles you've taken from family-then it's out of control.

Im not sure if he would go to AA. I think he really needs a swift kick in the pants, honestly - but if I tell his Dad, I will lose one of my best friends, and he is friends with my bf also! I don't want it to get to the point where I tell his dad, how can I help him without ratting him out? BF has talked to him man-to-man and nothing works!
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New postby Elinor » 24 Oct 2012, 07:48

Honestly, you're a great friend for wanting to help. sounds like he needs an intervention FAST. It's his only hope if he's not willing to help himself. He's most likely going to be mad at everyone who is trying to encourage him to get help. You will have to accept that because it is part of the process. The friendship may temporarily be put on hold, but he'll still be your friend. I hope that you can encourage him to get help.

It's better to rat out a friend in hopes that he'll get help.
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How can I help an alcoholic friend who has no family...

New postby Theresia » 24 Oct 2012, 07:48

How can I help an alcoholic friend who has no family support, no $$$, and (seemingly) no motivation to quit?

I say "seemingly" no motivation to stop drinking because he doesn't show any signs of wanting to, but his health and spirit have deteriorated before his friends' eyes
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New postby Margrett » 24 Oct 2012, 07:48

An alcoholic has to want to help himself. My husband says he probably will have to hit bottom first before he will have the motivaton to quit. My husband also says that you cannot help him until he is ready to help himself other than by letting him know that when he is ready you will be there for him.
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How does one or how can one help an alcoholic who doesnt...

New postby Shanon » 24 Oct 2012, 07:48

How does one or how can one help an alcoholic who doesnt want to be helped? Is there a way? anything?
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New postby Ethan » 24 Oct 2012, 07:49

I agree that if they don't want to change, you can't do a thing for them.

I lost my neighbour who was like a brother to me. He drank from 16 onward and died at 33. He was a serious alcoholic by then, drank first thing when he got up, (never at work) but came home and drank till he went to bed pretty well.

I think pain killers and booze blew his heart in the end. His dad died the same way, of cancer but drinking right to the end.

And as luck would have it when we moved my neighbour was another serious drunk with the police or fire truck around at least once or twice a month...not to mention all the scum of the neighbourhood dropping by for thier daily fixes in the garage.

I hate to say it but TG he fell and cracked his head open as he's in a nursing home right now, and we don't have to put up with the riff-raff of society coming around anymore!

So can't help anyone who won't help themselves. Frankly, I refuse to even hang with people who drink anymore.

I'm fine with a glass of wine and drinking on occasion, but it seems that most people are hooked on either drugs, pills or booze and I'm just not interested. Too much living to do thank you.

The thing with people like that is they will drag you down too. So you have to get away from them and sadly if they are family, it's a hard thing to do, but you have to steel your resolve to not turn out like them. It's their life, they blew it, but you don't have to become them. It's tragic, but you can move on and do better for yourself and your own family if you really want to. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to go to those al-anon meetings for families or friends. They may be able to help you if you really feel you must remain in that person's life.

Wannaknow: My neighbour did that with her husband for 30 years...he used to laugh and tell me how he would outwit her and how he got his drinking money while she was away working (she is a nurse...) and he would find ways of making money and drinking behind her back. He knocked on my door once cause he was locked out and he was covered in puke and smelled of urine. Luckily he remembered his son's number and I phoned them to drive over and pick him up---while he waited on the porch!

LOSER....I don't know why she put up with him all those years frankly. I suppose you remember the person they once were and know that they would die in the street if you turn them it's kind of a death sentence for some people no matter what.
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How to help an alcoholic parent on recovery?

New postby Dorie » 24 Oct 2012, 07:49

How to help an alcoholic parent on recovery? How to help an alcoholic parent on recovery?
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New postby Jacquelynn » 24 Oct 2012, 07:49

Unfortunately AA is a solo journey. You can't really help them in their recovery except by being understanding when they are gone at meetings and doing step work. Alcoholism is an insidious disease in that it tells us we are not sick. The only way an alcoholic really knows they are sick is when they hit a bottom. Hitting a bottom is defined as life getting worse faster than they can lower their standards. So the best thing you can do for your parent is to allow them to feel all the pain and wreckage that they caused. Do not try to cushion their fall or they may rationalize that they weren't that bad. Don't hide their drinking if you find them drinking again. If they have to face the consequences of their disease everyday they will be a lot more likely to find and stay in recovery. Help yourself by checking out alateen or alanon. They are groups set up like A.A. to help the family and friends of alcoholics or those affected by alcoholism. If you get healthier you will encourage them to get healthier by example.
Check out the website below to find a meeting in your area.
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How to help an alcoholic?

New postby Rosalia » 24 Oct 2012, 07:49

My friends mother is an alcoholic. I'm a little irate because the family doesn't do anything about it. They'll yell at her when she's intoxicated but the next day everything will be fine. She's rude to me and my friend doesn't even trust his own mother anymore because of all the lies. I know there's not much I can do but does anyone have any advice for me?
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New postby Tobias » 24 Oct 2012, 07:49

You can check out a few places to help you with her alcoholism. I would suggest Allenon.

People have to hit bottom before fixing their problem. I would suggest letting the person continue to drink until they choose to stop. The only thing you can do is to take care of yourself.
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How does going to AA help an alcoholic?

New postby Hanh » 24 Oct 2012, 07:49

How does going to AA help an alcoholic?
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New postby Bette » 24 Oct 2012, 07:49

You get the support of other people that are/were in the same situation as you are.
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