Hi,I work in JAG for the Army. .
You have to go to court to get a divorce, and you will probably need a private attorney too. Although you are not legally required to have an attorney, it is sometimes difficult to get a divorce without one. Even though a legal assistance attorney usually cannot go to court for you, he or she may still advise you about the issues and procedures in your case and prepare a separation agreement for you and your spouse to sign, if appropriate.
You can’t just file for divorce anywhere. A valid and legal divorce can only be granted in the "home state" or domicile of either the husband or the wife. This means the true legal home of one of the marriage partners. It is the place where a partner can vote, pays income taxes and qualifies for in-state college tuition. It does not necessarily mean the same thing as a military "home of record." You will have to hire a lawyer in that place (state or country) to start the divorce proceedings.
Also, don't rush anything if you are doing the overlap (have new person you trying to hook up with.I say this because it is common with military females. Like 80% common.) thing. Take your time. I am going to send your links. They have some lawyers are who are use to working with military personnel throught the states and normally cheaper.
Finally, GO TO YOUR LEAL ASSISTANCE OFFICE! If you don't know where it is or can't find it, then me know here in this forum. They will be able to answer all your quetions. You can do a separation in the mean time to give yourself some breathing room till you get divorce also. All free of charge. As for a divorce, we don't do 'em. That would 70% of our work load in JAG. Seriously.
update, since you said got a child:
WHAT TYPES OF CHILD CUSTODY ARE THERE?
There are two basic types of child custody. They are (1) sole custody, and (2) joint custody. Each type has advantages and disadvantages. The following discussion summarizes both:
Usually a court will award custody to one of the divorced or separated parents. In the past, courts have generally considered the mother to be the more desirable parent to have the care and control of the minor child. But this is changing, and more and more custodial parents are fathers.
There is no longer an automatic preference for the mother. The courts follow the guideline of what is in the “best interest of the child.”
The clear advantage of sole custody is the fact that one parent can exercise full control over the living situation and upbringing of the minor child(ren). While this may not always be fair to the other parent, it does permit the custodial parent to make the final decision regarding the needs of the child.
The modern trend in child custody law is to award joint custody of the minor child(ren) to both parents. Joint Custody can mean several things. In some cases, it refers to an equal division of time for the child between the mother and father. This is usually called joint physical custody.
Joint custody can also mean shared decision-making. This refers to the major choices for a child, such as elective surgery, private school and choice of religion. This is known as joint legal custody.
The courts take a very close look at requests for joint custody. A court must be satisfied that the parents fully understand the implications of joint custody and have also agreed to a workable plan that takes into consideration the “best interest of the child(ren).”
Parents who are considering joint custody must be able to cooperate and communicate with each other. The welfare of the child cannot be compromised by any feelings the parents may have toward one anther. In fact, if the court detects that ill feelings do exist between the parents, it “will probably not award joint custody.
WHAT FACTORS DO THE COURTS CONSIDER IN GRANTING CUSTODY?
Most courts usually look at who has taken primary care of the child(ren) during the marriage (for example washing, feeding and clothing the child, or helping the child with homework), who has the best approach to discipline, who has cared for the child since the separation, the parents’ work schedules, and how each parent can provide for the physical, emotional, educational, religious and social needs of the child.
CAN A LEGAL ASSISTANT ATTORNEY OBTAIN A COURT DECREE FOR CUSTODY?
No. You will need to retain a civilian attorney for the preparation of the documents and the court appearance. A Legal Assistance Attorney may be able to locate and/or refer you to a civilian attorney if necessary.
CAN THE COURT AWARD ATTORNEY FEES IN A CUSTODY CASE?
Courts in some states may, but are not required to, award reasonable attorney fees as part of the custody order. However, the person asking for attorney fees must be acting in good faith and be unable to afford the legal expenses of the lawsuit.
IN WHAT COURT DO I HAVE TO FILE FOR CUSTODY?
In most cases the lawsuit for custody must be filed in the “home state” of the child, which is where the child has lived for the last six months (except for temporary absences). If no state meets this definition, then a state which has substantial contacts with the child’s past, present or future care may accept the case for filing.
CAN A CUSTODY ORDER BE CHANGED?
Yes. No custody order is ever “permanent.” However, unless the custodial parent gives up custody voluntarily, the court will normally change the custody order only if there is a substantial change in circumstances since the time it entered the prior order. Usually the party wanting custody must prove that the change has a direct and adverse effect on the child.
Anyway, here are the links:
State Divorce Law sites:
http://www.law.cornell.edu/topics/state ... tml#family
, Cornell’s link collection of state family law statutes online
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divor ... ates.shtml
, state divorce law
Divorce General Information sites:
, American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, Divorce Manual: A Client Handbook – “roadmap of divorce process.” 2 Apr 01
, Marriage/Divorce Abroad of US Citizens
Divorce Net Family Law Advice on Divorce
If know I wrote alot, but divorce is the worse next to death to happen to most people. Get some help pronto. Good luck and Army Strong!